Thoughtful Thursday ~ My Quiet Place

For as long as I can remember, I find myself often going into these extended periods of 'quiet time' ~ when I kind of disconnect from the world to .... think, reflect, read, write, think some more .... my quiet place.

When I bought my first house several years ago and would go into one of my 'quiet places,'  I'd arrive home  and not talk to anyone for days at a time.  I lived alone and wouldn't answer the door or phone.  This worked especially well on long weekends or in the summer, when I might have a few weeks off at a time.  I'd read, write, sit on the back porch and ponder.  It was wonderful.  It was quiet.  It was genuinely productive.

And it drove my family nuts! They would  worry.  They'd call.  I wouldn't answer.  They'd leave messages.  "Robin, are you okay?  You're being very quiet again..."  I'm not sure why this surprised or worried them so much, other than maybe they thought  I  was depressed or sad.  Sometimes I was.  But mostly, I just wanted to be left alone to think, reflect, read, write, think some more.  This was before the age of text messages, tweets, or FB updates,  so unless I was willing to send  out smoke signals, communicating my 'state of okay' required talking to someone. 

In plant terminology,

I guess you'd call my 'quiet place' 

a  growth spurt.

It's an exceptionally focused, creative, purposeful, reflective period of time for me.  I find I take more naps when I'm in one of these phases.  (Kind of like dormancy in a plant, maybe??)  The 'purposeful napping' seems to allow my thoughts to marinate on a  subconscious level.  I process  thoughts without distraction, often reading a few pages in a book and then napping for 30 minutes in a state of suspended thinking.  Very zen-like.

Then I got married.  Lucky for me, (and maybe one of the reasons I married this awesome guy!)..... my husband gets this quiet-place thing because interestingly, he does the same thing.  Every few months or so, he'll  disconnect from the world for a few days.  His vice is video games.  He will play for hours.  As in 12+ hours at a time,  for a few days at a time.  It's his quiet time, his 'quiet' place.  We can be in the same room and not talk for hours, but be very okay with that.  We respect each other's quiet place and need for it.

Thankfully, my family understands it much better now, too.  Maybe because I'm happily married.  Maybe because I blog and 'put it all out there.'  Maybe because they're busy with their own  million things  going on!  :)   Maybe all of the above.  Whatever  it  is, they don't call and ask if I'm okay (too often).  If they do, it goes like this:   

Calling Hubs:  Is she okay? 

Hubs:   Yes, she's just in her 'quiet place.'   

Unless we're both in it at the same time. 

Then neither of us answer. 

And they all worry.  :)

Lately, I've been in that place.  Actually, I noticed  my need for quiet reflection and creative release  really ramped up  when  I  turned 40 a few years ago, but for about a year now,  and more signficantly, the past few months, I've had an intense need for quiet,  wanting  to  be disconnected in order to focus.  I've been reading several  books, mostly Escape from Cubicle Nation: From Corporate Prisoner to Thriving Entrepreneur by @PamSlim, and have been contemplating my life and next steps professionally. 

I've continued to move in a direction that's putting me closer to  my  goals:  working independently as a consultant/freelance trainer and speaker, as well  as  writer and creator of  cool stuff.  

This blog was a result of my desire to share my experiences ~ the ups and downs of running ~  and reflect on those experiences in the bigger picture.  As  the  Turtles blog  nears  its first anniversary, I can't help but think of all the lessons I've learned and the places and people that have become a part of my life as a result of these posts that have been  funny,  sad,   ranting,  informative, and  all  from my heart.  

What a ride so far!  Nearly every day, I meet someone new as a result of my blogs and running lifestyle, and am amazed at the connections made, lessons learned, opportunities presented.  Fascinating. 

This ride and  where it's taking me are consuming a lot of my thinking lately.  I'm in my  'quiet place,' so  if  you aren't  seeing  me post, tweet,  or  update  a  day or two  here or there, that's why.  I'm  in  a growth spurt - and might very well be napping!  :)  (With all this early morning group training, I'm definitely napping lots lately - still!)

Personally and professionally, 

life continues to

present challenges and opportunities. 

I find my fulltime work in a cubicle  painfully  lacking  real  purpose.  I'm working to change that.  I have the power to redefine my role to some extent.  However, the atmosphere still will not mesh  with my desire to do meaningful work, to make a difference, to be creative and interactive on a much bigger scale. 

Cubicles,  policies, and culture dictate limitations. 

I do not like limitations, compliance, or inflexibility.  

I do not like having to work 8 - 4 because someone deems those hours as the most productive and efficient.  Some days they are for me.  Other days, not so much.  

I want to decide when to work and when to play.  I will be more Productive.  Balanced.  Happy.  Creative.  Healthy.  

My mom would tell you I was a  headstrong 3-year-old, fiercely independent,  knowing what I wanted, and not afraid to express it.  It IS who I am. 

I like working hard.  I like living a healthy lifestyle.  I like writing.  I like meeting new people.  I like sharing information that will (hopefully) make a difference in others' lives.  I like learning new information from others that makes a difference in my life. 

I like knowing

one word,

one sentence,

one hug, one smile, one 'atta boy'

can change a person's

day, week, month, year,

life!

I strive to do more of these things and less of the other stuff  in a way that allows me to serve a purpose in this life, feel fulfilled, and pay the bills.

I'm a firm believer that

everything happens for a  reason.

I must listen carefully, 

learn the lessons,

and

figure out the next steps.   

Look for

new blossoms

as the weeks and months roll on....   

 

Own your journey.  One run at a time.™