According to Merriam-Webster, EPIPHANY is defined as:
1: (capitalized) January 6 observed as a church festival in commemoration of the coming of the Magi as the first manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles or in the Eastern Church in commemoration of the baptism of Christ
2: an appearance or manifestation especially of a divine being
3a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure
b : a revealing scene or moment
I am soooo THERE
Mine happened this morning. Truth is, I'm sure it's been in the making for a while.
But It Hit Me Like a Train Today
I am not passionate about running.
There. I said it.
I'm putting my guts on the curb.
Don't get me wrong.
- how running makes me feel (when I'm finished, mostly)
- how other people look at me with interest, disbelief, (or disinterest...LOL) when I say I've run 13.1 miles w/out being chased or passing out
- the camaraderie that runners share (as any tribe does??)
- the clothes *wink*
- the satisfaction of completing a long run
- the sense of accomplishment from getting up @ o'dark-thirty to run, knowing most folks are still sleeping (when I actually get up!)
My list of likes could go on. But the bottom line is this:
I am not passionate about running.
And life is short.
I am passionate about:
- Being around kids ~ They make me LOL, challenge me, teach me, and inspire me. Hubs can always tell when I've spent the day with students... I come home all fired up (in a good way!)
- Supporting others
- Supporting causes
- Making healthy choices
- Food ~ good food (not the crappy, processed stuff); preparing, photographing, writing about...
- Inspiring others to learn something new
- Being a lifelong learner myself
- Being creative: writing/blogging, designing, photographing
- Meeting new people and learning their stories; I'm fascinated
- Exploring new places and learning their stories; equally fascinated by 'place'
- Making a difference, no matter how insignificant it may seem at the moment
When I began writing the Turtles blog in August 2009 [first post HERE], I shared my purpose: to chronicle my journey and share the lessons I was learning along the way.
It seems I still am.
I've been struggling with the realization that I could take or leave running on most days, and unlike many bloggers who share their obvious passion for running through their running stories (you guys!), I don't live for the next run, worry over missed mileage, or yearn to run faster (I'm a turtle runner, after all!). I don't run when I'm injured. And 26.2 does not appeal to me (though I had a flicker of desire while watching NYC recently!).
Oddly, a 50-miler does appeal to me. Go figure.
No. Those just aren't the things that rock my world. I do love data, so when I keep up with mileage, it's fun to see the numbers creep up, or when I look back at all the races I've run, it's exciting to look at bibs, bling, pictures, and t-shirts. I feel like I've accomplished something, to be sure.
But the real excitement of those races comes not from my finish times (depressing to most!), but instead, from the stories that frame those events:
- crossing the finish line with new runners completing first-ever races
- cheering others on as they finish their race, especially the not-so-speedy ones (like me)
- talking with other runners before/after races and learning why they're there
- running with little buddies (Girls on the Run and my nephews)
- running with new friends
- keeping on and finishing 13.1 miles, in spite of locked knees, howling blisters, swollen feet, and being terribly undertrained .... (now that was a story!)
And from blogging in the running world:
- Meeting awesome people and making new virtual friends that I have met or look forward to meeting... definitely!!
What does all this mean? It means (to me) that I'm beginning the next phase in my journey:
Accepting my lukwarm love affair with running. We'll date, maybe flirt a bit, but we won't be exclusive.
I'd like to spend more date nights (and mornings) with my other passions. (I often get up at 5 a.m. to write or read... such a quiet and productive time of day.) My new journal from One Little Tri Girl is already coming in handy! (thank you, friend!)
I'm pretty sure The Hubs will be thrilled to learn of this revelation, too. Fewer races to pay for, travel to, go to bed early and get up in the middle of the night to drive to, buy new gear for, and then stand around while his Turtle Runner Wife slowly but surely makes her way across the finish line.
The man is a saint, standing for hours sometimes, waiting for me to cross that damn line. He's been a good sport and my biggest fan. Now he can sleep in and enjoy his favorite movies on any given Sunday. My birthday present to YOU, honey! LOL :) (though he'd be out there in a heartbeat if i asked!)
I'll still be running ~ at my turtle pace ~ but without the conflict of not logging lots of miles or sharing race recaps every month, without the expense of new gear *every*week or (as many) race registrations (gave this up a few months ago!).
And who knows?
Maybe someone reading this is struggling with the same relationship dilemma... liking running, but not really liking-liking (insert teen voice) it (as in passionately loving it!).
It's okay to just be friends.
Disclaimer: This epiphany does NOT mean we get to be couch potatoes and watch the world go by (though tempting sometimes). Oh, heck no! What it does mean is that
we I must now demonstrate commitment to all other said passions (guilt-free), and dedicate the appropriate time.
It means I will continue to fold my other passions into running ~ including writing the Turtles blog, working on the Lessons from my Laces project, running with little buddies (GOTR), and giving back through running/walking. (I've got some ideas brewing for the New Year! Stay tuned.)
It means I will continue to develop content in my other online venues: The Own Your Journey Project, Eating Good Stuff, and... my professional side: RobinLK (which I also udpated to reflect my recent professional epiphany: I am an educator foremost).
It means the Turtles blog will continue to change as I change... just as it has the past 18 months. Ironically, I've posted less frequently in the past two months and yet have new folks who've joined the Turtles Tribe recently. Getting close to 200! Maybe a gift for our 200th friend?
Chalk one up for brevity, something today's post is NOT(!).
A BIG Thank You to everyone who takes time to stop by, read, and comment. I sincerely appreciate you.
2011 promises to be a productive, creative year with lots of new projects, miles to go (figuratively and literally!), stories to collect and share, people/causes to support, and folks to encourage toward empowerment. I'm soooo excited!
(Oh, and we still have our Pay it Forward 500 Miles to tally up as we close out 2010....look for that post in the next few days.)
My friend Kerrie over at Mom vs. Marathon was thinking about goal-making this week, defining (in her own words) the difference between dreams and goals, as she shared advice and asked for input on the subject. Stop by and see her. Tell her Robin says hi. :)
How's 2011 looking for you?
Are you feeling the winds of change or are things right on track in your world?
Are you owning your journey [OR] just going through the motions?
**If you're feeling a little stuck, or just want to support a really cool 'Making a Difference' project, be sure to stop by The OYJ Project for a dose of reflection, sign up for updates (about 3 times/month) and share the site with a friend. One of my goals in '11 is to grow The OYJ Project, and have a few ideas in the works to spread the word throughout the U.S./Canada/beyond(?). One of those ideas will be kicking off early/mid January.... Hint: How far can it travel??
If you're still with me on this looooonnnng post, Congratulations, you've just earned the YOU ROCK! award for hanging in there to find out how it all turned out! :)
YOU are the reason I keep sitting down at this computer. Thank you. I appreciate you.
Happy running and Happy Last Week of 2010! I love starting a New Year.
~ robin ~